


went forth with an age old desire to please

by derogatory



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Extremely Dubious Consent, Gaslighting, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 22:16:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20181589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derogatory/pseuds/derogatory
Summary: Tenn's never been frightened by his guardian; Kujou-san doesn't really make an imposing figure. And there have always been worse people in his life, more frightening shadows that linger in his nightmares. Debt collectors in the doorway. Kidnappers in the dark. Riku in the distance, his face turned away.





	went forth with an age old desire to please

Tenn steps reluctantly through the doorway, and Kujou folds him smoothly into his arms.

"Tenn-kun," he says, breath hot against the shell of Tenn's ear. Tenn stays still, steady enough he can feel the other man shaking. That vulnerability chips away at his stubborn resolve, the kind he'd built up on the taxi ride back to his old home. Tenn knows better than to let these things affect him; Kujou-san's loneliness is a weakness of his. And yes, Tenn has a lot to be grateful for, but more to be angry about. Tenn had promised he would keep the visit short and professional. He's just going to do his duty to his guardian and then go back to Trigger unharmed, unaltered. That was the resolve he had built for himself, but feeling Kujou tremble against him makes all the pieces of that resolve wobble, all his convictions shaky too.

Tenn's arms lift from his sides, impossibly heavy, weakly wrapping around his mentor.

"I've missed you," Kujou continues, turning his face into Tenn's hair, breathing him in there. His grip is tight, but any threat there is loose, clawless. Tenn's never been frightened by his guardian; Kujou-san doesn't really make an imposing figure. And there have always been worse people in his life, more frightening shadows that linger in his nightmares. Debt collectors in the doorway. Kidnappers in the dark. Riku in the distance, his face turned away.

The rest of Trigger disapproves of this; they think that Tenn is safer apart from Kujou-san, no matter how lonely the old man says he is. But this is a half truth he has to tell his bandmates; that Tenn is better away from Kujou. He's terrible wherever he goes, but this is just another thing Tenn can't share with them. He's been a rotten friend to them, always keeping too many secrets. The rest of Trigger is so open and good and Tenn is just layers of false images stacked together, piles of incomplete truths. Everyone has these preconceived notions of Kujou as the bad guy, but Tenn's pride is such that he wouldn't be capable of attaching his name to someone so terrible unless he was just as bad. Ryuu and Gaku are good people, so good they can't possibly understand what it means to be bad. A bad friend, a bad protege. A bad brother.

Instinctually Tenn's hands close around Kujou's shoulders.

The room is silent except for Kujou's breathing, slow and uneven. Ragged almost. Tenn's thoughts spiral at the possibility the man hasn't been taking care of himself in his absence. That maybe he hasn't been eating enough. There's an endless amount of possibilities to explain Kujou's shivering, the frailty of his bones in Tenn's grip.

"I missed you too," Tenn hears himself say. He bites back an apology. Gaku had goaded him about that; that Kujou would twist the words out of him, make Tenn doubt his decision. Ryuu wringing his hands, asking if they should come along. No, there was no need. Tenn knows what he has to do to appease Kujou-san, what he has to do to maintain his composure. His actions until now are what had pushed Tenn into this corner, and it would be unprofessional to complain about them. He built this life for himself with Kujou-san, he can't be so ungrateful as to throw it away when things get difficult. When band members get overly protective.

"I'm here now," Tenn says and Kujou lifts his face from his shoulder, relief flooding his expression. It chips further into his stubbornness: that happiness from being wanted. He hears Gaku and Ryuu's voice in his head, warning Tenn not to let himself be manipulated. "For a little while," he adds, stinging as Kujou's face falls.

"That's not what we discussed on the phone," he replies cooly. Kujou's disappointment is poison burning through his stomach.

"We agreed this isn't permanent," Tenn continues weakly, forcing his voice to stay even.

"You're going back on your word," Kujou says and in an instant he releases Tenn, moving away. Tenn wavers on the spot, trying to reorient himself. Kujou crosses his arms tightly over his chest and Tenn, helplessly, finds himself mirroring the action.

"I'm not," Tenn says and stops himself before offering any more explanation. He doesn't owe that to Kujou. 'No' is a full sentence, Tenn thinks, anxiety kicking in as Kujou turns away from him. Crossing the room. Every step is another crack in the foundation of what pulled him away from Kujou in the first place, and Tenn bites the inside of his mouth to stay quiet. It was a mistake to come here.

"IDOLiSH7," Kujou says and Tenn's heartbeat kicks off at a sprint. Kujou's back is to him so Tenn can't see the other man's expression. "They're having some difficulty right now, aren't they?"

Tenn racks his brain for what it could possibly be _now_. "I don't think so," he manages, hating the small quality of his voice. It doesn't come from the diaphragm, no performer's projection. Just a tiny, deceptive sound.

"No?" Kujou casts a blithe, disinterested look over his shoulder. He was just here, Tenn thinks miserably. He was here and holding me and saying he missed me, now he doesn't care, doesn't need me. Tenn's feet move of their own accord, closing the distance between them. "I suppose you have a lot of things going on in your personal life," Kujou muses, "You don't have time to pay attention to other people."

"Stop it," Tenn says, would be startled by the command if there was any weight behind it. He feels like a small stone fighting against the current. "I'm here now."

"For a little while," Kujou repeats, eyes downcast. "So you just came back to taunt me?"

Taunt him? Tenn's frame of reference for this conversation is crumbling. "I'm not — taunting you." Kujou turns his face away again and something deep in Tenn's bones is screaming, pointing out that Kujou was the one trembling a moment ago, now he's acting distant and bringing up IDOLiSH7 for no reason. "I don't want to fight-"

Kujou's eyes cut into him. "So this is a fight? You're angry with me."

The room feels off balance, like the floor is crooked. "No, I…" Tenn tries to ground himself in what's happening, in the familiar details of Kujou's home, his _own_ home. Nothing's changed, it's exactly as Tenn left it; impossibly clean, flavorless, dripping with Kujou's manipulation in every spotless corner, on every starched clean surface. Even this argument feels familiar.

"Good," Kujou continues, arms draping over Tenn's shoulders in a fluid easy motion. Tenn goes into that embrace again, planting himself there, desperate for something to hold onto. "I don't want to fight." He turns his face, not into Tenn's hair this time, and Tenn's treacherous body moves into the motion like a well practiced routine.

He doesn't taste alcohol on Kujou's lips. That's good; Aya-chan doesn't like it when their guardian drinks. Tenn really doesn't want to think about Aya right now, not with Kujou's arms wrapped around him, tongue coaxing his mouth open. He doesn't want to think about a lot of things; how sad Kujou must've been without him. How disappointed Trigger will be that it took Kujou less than two minutes to have Tenn wrapped around his finger. What they would say if they knew how easy their friend is to manipulate? That shame boils inside Tenn, his internal body temperature reaching a fevered height until Tenn has to literally wring out of himself. Has to wrap his arms around Kujou in return, rocking his hips into the other man's thigh.

Tenn gasps into the kiss as Kujou lets him grind against him like a dog, like a weak thing desperate for his approval. This is certainly one of the things he'd wanted to avoid when he came back here but… But Kujou was lonely, and Tenn — Kujou Tenn exists to please him. To make him happy as well, just like the rest of his thousands of fans. And really, what kind of idol would he be if he turned his back on the first person who believed in him? An insistent voice argues with that from the back of his mind: _Kujou-san wasn't the first person who loved you, you know it was Riku, but you already know you don't deserve that._

"I see," Kujou murmurs, hand around Tenn's waist. "Is this the only reason you came back?" He hates the way his whole body lights up at the glance of contact with Kujou. How easily he slips into old routines, how his body arches towards those comforting touches after the slightest setback.

"No," Tenn manages, swallowing half his words into a shameful pit of his chest. It's a sign of his training the way Tenn's cock twitches as Kujou latches his mouth around a pulse point in his neck. "I — You wanted to see me."

"What do you want?" Kujou says between bites, awful bruises that will make it impossible for Tenn to go back to Trigger anytime soon. It would be too much work to explain this away. What kind of explanations would Tenn even give in this scenario? _Sorry, I know you hate him, but Kujou-san missed me and also I wanted him to kiss and touch me like old times_ would not go over well with his bandmates. 

Guilt rages inside him; everywhere he goes, everything Tenn does has this undercurrent of disgusting wanting he can't let anyone know. This secret shame he's carried for ages, shared only with the man here, whose palm lays flat on the small of Tenn's back. A familiar weight that carried Tenn through his debut, that's pinned Tenn to a mattress as he wrung soft, pleased noises from him for too many years.

"I-" Tenn struggles with the question. Nothing he's wanted has ever been allowed, not for a long time, and he knows this is more of Kujou's machinations, a trap he's playing into. 

"You want to use me," Kujou says between kisses as he steers Tenn towards the couch. Tenn's knees quake, footsteps unsteady as he stumbles his way there, across the layout of the apartment he knows in the dark. "You'll use me like this and leave me." Tenn argues weakly, a small abortive sound as Kujou detangles them. His hand is in the center of his chest and Tenn lets himself be pushed, falling back into the sofa. He feels like a doll, moved around the room, twisted into positions he's tricked himself into thinking he was past.

"You're going to leave me like you left your brother."

Tenn breaks through the surface of his thoughts like cresting from water, like treading against the current, trying to keep himself from drowning. Mentioning IDOLiSH7 again — mentioning Riku — Kujou knows that's not fair. Tenn grimaces, twisting his neck to look away from Kujou, angle his body away as the older man sits beside him. It's a dumb, chidish motion. He knows better than to pull away from Kujou when he's like this. He should just grit his teeth and bear it. But this is a form of punishment and Tenn knows deep at his center he deserves it; he left Kujou-san all alone, just like he'd left Riku. 

"Kujou-san-"

"He's become quite the idol now too, hasn't he?" Kujou asks, an arm around his shoulder, pulling Tenn's body back towards him. "Maybe it would actually be worth my time to offer to teach him now." 

Something icy slips down Tenn's spine at the thought of Kujou and his claws in Riku. Tenn wouldn't allow that; he'd die before he'd let any of this happen to Riku. 

More guilt jogs after that thought; Kujou is ultimately harmless. He's not the mastermind people accuse him of being. He wouldn't hurt Riku. Tenn is only imagining all these insidious things from his mentor. They're not true, not really. Tenn's let other people influence him and his thoughts, forgotten the truth: that Kujou-san cares about him and is lonely. He'll say anything to keep Tenn by his side. Empty threats about Nanase Riku, Tenn knows he shouldn't take them so personally. They don't mean anything, and Riku isn't someone he deserves to care about anymore. 

Tenn knows all this. But he doesn't speak up, doesn't tell Kujou-san to stop.

"Would you like that?" Kujou asks, carding a hand through Tenn's hair. He leans into the touch. "You two could live here." The thought is noxious, smothering Tenn like smoke. "Then you'd never leave me."

"I don't," Tenn hesitates, swallows back the lump in his throat. Kujou's hands slide lower, across his chest, making quick work at the buttons along his collar. "I don't want to talk about that." It's a ridiculous thought; Riku training with Kujou. It'd be a waste of Kujou's skills; his guardian doesn't need any more useless students. And the idea of sharing someone — Riku or Kujou — makes his stomach turn.

"You're right," Kujou concedes, a contented warmth radiating from him; good, Kujou was shivering before, but at least now he won't catch a cold. "That's no good." Tenn knows he should be more concerned with his own health, with the way Kujou's hands caress him, splayed out fingers inching across his chest until they brush over his nipples, take Tenn's sensitive skin between his fingers and squeeze. 

"Ah," Tenn flinches, but knows better than to pull away anymore.

"After all," Kujou continues obliquely, "Its better you two aren't brothers anymore." He casts a low, predatory look to the boy in his grip. "Makes things easier."

Tenn's mouth goes dry. His teeth grind together so hard his jaw starts to ache.

"This way," Kujou says, hands gliding down the pale landscape of Tenn's chest, past his navel, fingers looping into his belt buckle. "You can look at him all you want, right?"

Tenn's chin wobbles- just for a moment. It's not worth it to fight. Let Kujou say his peace, let him squeeze what he needs from Tenn and curl up satiated, like the cat who got the cream. Tenn knows better than to step into a trap he knows is waiting for him, one Kujou was able to craft over all those lonely nights without him.

"I don't know what you mean," Tenn says on a hurried breath. Kujou's eyes are daggers in the dark. Tenn withers under that stare; he shouldn't have responded. It's not worth it to fight.

"I think you do," Kujou says simply, pulling Tenn's belt free. His hands make quick work of the front of Tenn's pants and, always so infuriatingly accommodating, Tenn lifts his hips to allow Kujou to pull his pants and underwear low on his hips.

Kujou hums appraisingly, reaching out to trace Tenn from the tip of his cock to its base, delighting in the way he twitches under the stroke. His eyes lift from his student's cock to Tenn's eyes. Tenn returns the stare, hoping his face is a cool, blank mask. Empty, lifeless. It's not meant to be a challenge, but of course Kujou-san takes it as one. He closes his hand around Tenn's dick, pumps his fist and Tenn chokes back a cry. Kujou-san barely has to do anything before he's hard in his grasp, leaking precome over his knuckles, Tenn's own fists balled into the cushions.

"Ah…" Tenn sinks back into the sofa, shying away from the touching, desperate not to writhe into it, to let himself succumb to something so filthy.

"It's easier Nanase Riku isn't your brother anymore," Kujou continues, as if there wasn't any break in their earlier conversation. Tenn shudders with every stroke. "That way, no one would fault you for wanting him." Tenn's stomach roils with desire and disgust, mixed together in his gut in a putrid slurry. He can think of plenty of people who would fault him for that. And even if they wouldn't, Tenn knows Riku is his brother and his thoughts are wrong, and all this time he's spent denying them, letting Kujou take advantage of them, it would all be for nothing if it was really possible for Tenn to just shrug it aside with a simple name change. 

He hisses as Kujou brings his face in close, leer hot against his skin. Humiliation makes him dizzy.

"You thought I didn't notice?" Kujou asks, squeezing Tenn on the upstroke. "All those nights you spent crying for Nanase Riku." Tenn gnashes his teeth- that never happened. Not once did he cry out for Riku after he left; Tenn wouldn't have allowed himself to do something so pathetic. He knew it was for the best, for his sake and Riku's; it's not something to cry about. Kujou's delusional, he's saying untrue things to get to him. But still... Still the words have an instant effect on him, a shot of adrenaline to his bloodstream, an ache between his legs as Kujou-san barrels onward, "You wanted him so badly, even then. And now," he trails off, thumb sweeping lovingly over the head of Tenn's aching cock. "Now you can't even think about him without getting hard."

Tenn's shoulders shake with a sob. Once. It's all he'll allow himself. This was a mistake, all of it, from the moment he left Ryuu's, or maybe farther back, leaving home. He thought he was so smart both times, but Kujou is smarter. Tenn bites hard on the inside of his mouth to keep from crying out.

"No wonder you had to leave him behind." Kujou says, tucking his face into Tenn's neck. "You're insatiable." Tenn whimpers as his mentor's mouth works over his neck, nibbles at the skin at the base of his jaw. It will ruin him; all of this is his undoing. From Riku, to Kujou-san, to the blossoming bite marks that will make leaving Kujou-san impossible. 

"How long until you might have touched him?" Kujou wonders and Tenn cries out at a particularly rough pinch, a rougher thought. The implication he might've done something similar to Riku is vile, it's too far, it's exactly what makes his hips buck off the sofa, plunging into the west heat of Kujo's hand.

Tenn knows that he keeps allowing himself these wretched things to happen to him because he deserves it. He can tell himself it's because Kujou-san is lonely, that's the only reason why he's being so manipulative. But the truth is Tenn is desperate for it: these visible marks of shame and all these disgusting things he deserves.

"You like that?" Kujou chuckles against his neck. "You wish you had been that brave, don't you?" Tenn groans, shaking his head to the side, hopelessly attempting to argue, to push back against the accusation. To shake away the image of Riku shuddering in his grip, small pink cock at attention, pale skin blushed under Tenn's mouth.

"How long until you would've taken advantage of his weakened state?"

"Kujou-san," Tenn gasps, pleads. He hates the watery sound of his voice, the begging, the desperate accommodations he's made for other people after all these years. Tears build at the corner of his eyes despite himself. It's true. Kujou's right, because of course he is. How badly Tenn wanted Riku even then, even before he understood what it meant. How many nights he crawled into Riku's hospital bed, bare legs brushing together under the blankets. Countless times he ran his hands over Riku's skin and told himself it was checking for a fever, it was simply looking after his brother's health, when really it was something sinister. Kujou-san must've known, even then, what a wretched thing Tenn was. Everyone calls Kujou a bad person, but they have no idea the bad things Tenn's thought, can still think as Kujou touches him, whispering awful truths into his ear.

Kujou strokes hair from Tenn's forehead, suddenly damp with sweat. "Is that too much?" he asks, infuriatingly gentle all of a sudden. "I had to think of why you left me, so I just thought…" 

It's not a good excuse, Tenn knows this. A rational part of him knows this is just Kujou's usual manipulation. He's fallen into old traps, he's let this awful old man twist him into places he swore he wouldn't go back to.

He reaches forward, cupping Kujou's face in his hands. He kisses him and tastes his own tears. Kujou is only twisted like that because Tenn allows it. From the beginning Tenn's been such a twisted person, a bad child that Kujou graciously took under his wing. And surely that's why Kujou is this way; because Tenn's worst traits rubbed off on him. 

"I know," Tenn whispers. "I missed you too."

Kujou-san stares at him with open affection. Tenn sinks into it. "Thank you," Kujou says, reaching up to stroke Tenn's face. "Tenn-kun." He rubs a tear from his cheekbone and Tenn forces himself to smile. "Get yourself ready for me."

Tenn nods numbly and stands, wobbly legged. He steps out of his pants and lets muscle memory guide his steps. He remembers where Kujou-san keeps these things. They might both have been lonely, being apart, but it hasn't been so long since they did this that Tenn's forgotten. He tries not to think about Isumi Haruka, about how many other students might have walked shaky legged and bare bottomed to this drawer. What other things Kujou-san might have kept there over the years. The nights when there were ropes and blindfolds inside, ruthless toys paired cruelly with endless dance practices. Tenn banishes those thoughts on a harsh exhale. He doesn't want to think about Kujou-san like that. The man only his students know. And if Tenn is really, truly honest, if he digs into the very fibre of his being, he knows he shouldn't excuse Kujou for all that. That Tenn doesn't want to be with that person anymore, not really. That he might somehow be happier away from all that torture. That truly Tenn isn't so desperate to please that he would put himself back in that position again.

But Kujou-san had missed him, and truthfully, Tenn had missed this kind of torment. Missed the awful love that comes from having someone terrible who knows him so completely, down to the darkest corner of his soul. That doesn't shy away from talking about the worst things about Tenn: his selfishness, how he ruthlessly abandons others. Kujou-san doesn't hesitate to rub Tenn's face in the mess of his complicated feelings for Riku.

Riku, Tenn thinks, settling over Kujou's lap. The bottle he'd fetched cracks open and Tenn pours a generous helping of lube into his palm, rolling his fingers in its slickness. Living with Kujou-san, training with him, pleasing him like this… Riku would never be able to do something like this; he doesn't have the character for it. Nobody in Trigger could manage this either. No one of his other students could satisfy this. No one else in the idol industry could do what Kujou wants, perform well while juggling these horrific, carnal needs. Tenn knows he alone possesses this exclusive talent to be what Kujou-san wants, on stage and in private. He could run away from it, turn his face from it, but it was still his greatest strength. Nobody else could do what he does.

"You're smiling," Kujou-san notes and Tenn feels the expression slide off his face instantly. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Tenn says quickly, hand dipping behind him, fingers sinking into his ass. He hisses in discomfort — it hasn't been too long, but it has been a while. He straddles his teacher's thigh, dipping his fingers inside, incrementally working against the muscles until the tension in his walls begins to loosen. Kujou watches him carefully, as if surveying his latest routine. Tenn's breath catches as he curls his fingers. His vision narrows to a pinprick, in a blinding flash of white behind his eyes.

"You're enjoying yourself," Kujou says, his voice drifting in and out of Tenn's thoughts. He's closed his eyes, he can only listen to the rustle of clothing beneath him, hear the wet sounds of his body as his fingers work himself loose.

"Mm," Tenn's chin drops to his chest. His heartbeat seems thunderously loud. He hopes Kujou-san can't hear it. He can't imagine the field day the old man would have with something like that. Hearing Tenn's frantic heartbeat and asking, _Are you nervous? Are you shy? Performance anxiety? Was it like this when you first performed for Nanase Riku? What would it be like to have him here, watching you?_

He's so hard his whole body aches with it. How badly Tenn wants Riku to be the one seeing this, to be touching him, to be the hand at his waist, startling Tenn awake.

"Come here," Kujou orders. His cock is out, rigid and commanding between his legs, a fraction of an inch away from Tenn. Tenn swallows hard, removes his fingers with a slow, slick pop. He lets Kujou reposition, the other man hauling Tenn over his hips, lining him up.

Kujou pauses, enjoying the sight. Tenn shivers under that attention, the heated stare on his flushed hole, his still drooling cock. His knees ache.

"P… Please," Tenn manages, cursing the simpering sound of his voice, the way his hips strain against Kujou's hold, desperate to push down, to be pierced.

Kujou's face splits into a smile and he forces Tenn down hard. Spots erupt in Tenn's vision and he yelps, grabbing the back off the sofa for support. Kujou's grip is unyielding, bruisingly hard as he holds Tenn in place, grinds his hips flush to Tenn's ass, cock sunk deep into his insides. Tenn's stomach grumbles with it, the depth of it, the way Kujou sinks into that agonizing contact, pushing deeper into that tightness, past his limits. Kujou loosens his hold but Tenn doesn't pull away, knows what's expected of him — he lifts himself back onto his knees, Kujou's dick dragging against the walls of his insides, almost pulling out completely before seating himself again. Kujou guides him through it, but of course Tenn remembers the steps, the brutal pace his mentor takes as Tenn's body weakly acquiesces to the treatment.

"Ah…" Kujou whispers, wrapping his arms around the boy as he rocks his hips into him. "That's perfect. Oh," He laughs breathlessly, happy to sit back as Tenn builds into a rhythm, bouncing on his cock. "Very good." 

Tenn clenches his jaw and tries to shove aside the nostalgic well of pride building within him. His idiot heart, a shivering organ of contradictions that loves to be praised, even mere moments after Kujou had been degrading him. Saying those disgusting things about him and Riku. Tenn supposes both can be true- in his heart he needs Kujou-san to love him, to approve of him as he wants from all his fans. In his heart he’s an idol, but something in the deeper parts of him, his soul and something more sinister, wants to be held down and had. To have Kujou laugh in his face about Riku and the disgusting things Tenn could've done - wants to do. And act on them with the only person he trusts to give him both. At his center Tenn is a man, and a disgusting one at that.

Tenn shakes with the force of that, the sob of wanting that guts him like Kujou's cock, sinking into him over and over.

"Yes, like that," Kujou cries, head thrown back against the couch, eyes wild. "Yes, you're so good."

Tenn whines softly at the praise, at the unrelenting need to be liked, to do well. To have Kujou compliment every step, every note, every roll of his hips that makes a sob bubble in his throat.

"I missed — this," Kujou gasps, fingers clawing into Tenn's waist until he's sure they'll leave marks. If Kujou keeps touching him like that, it may be months before Tenn can leave this house. It could be years before he has an opportunity to escape, Tenn thinks mournfully. Falling back on these bad habits within minutes of returning to Kujou-san, it could be decades before there's a moment where his body isn't riddled with marks of Kujou's unrelenting attention.

But then again, would that be so bad? he wonders, his own dick bobbing between his legs, painfully hard. Maybe this is exactly where someone disgusting like him belongs. Trapped with Kujou-san, his greatest masterpiece and monster, safe from Nanase Riku. Separated from the rest of Trigger who are probably worried about him, thinking the worst of the wrong person in this situation. He's safer here, with Kujou, who knows him to his core, who taunts him for his wickedness and praises Tenn's performances in the same breath. After all, he's Kujou Tenn, not Nanase Tenn; he hasn't been that person for a long time. He's the kind of person who smiles while riding his mentor's cock, moaning in time with Kujou-san's babbling litany of praise.

"Ah, you're wonderful," he gasps as Tenn happily writhes against him, letting Kujou's cock plunge deep into him. "Mmn… Ah, Zero…" The air rushes out of Tenn like a burst balloon, a rupture inside him that leaves him hiccuping full and pathetically empty. Zero. 

Of course, he thinks, hands shaking against the sofa back. Of course even Kujou would have someone he'd rather have in these moments. Tenn doing all this for Kujou's benefit- that was bullshit. Kujou-san didn't want him, he wanted what Tenn was replacing, what he had to overcome. And Tenn could fool himself into thinking he wanted this as punishment, as payment for all the rotten things he'd done but. But none of it meant anything after all. He was just a ruined, cock-hungry thing, taking it where he could get it from someone who knew the truth about him and because of that, he still wanted something else, someone else.

Tenn blinks sweat and tears from his vision. He pushes that aside as his mentor's shout melts into a groan and a rush of fluid coats his insides. Tenn grinds against his hips slowly, milking him dry, eyes pitched towards the ceiling. Forcing tears back into his eyes. This is exactly what he deserves; the bruises, the humiliation, the mess he'll spend the rest of tonight trying to clean out of himself. 

Kujou collapses back into the couch, arms limp at his side. Tenn surveys the damage under him; Kujou's chest heaving with effort. He still looks sick, weak and pale. Tenn places a hand at the center of his chest as he lifts himself up, slowly pulling off his cock. Come oozes free from the empty hole, dropping down his thighs in wet, gooey clumps. It will get on the sofa, on his pants. They're making a mess. Kujou-san watches him there, laughing breathlessly. Tenn's lightheaded with the effort of holding himself at edge, at the tightness in the base of his spine. Everything about this is disgusting. Mortifying.

"Touch yourself for me," Kujou orders and Tenn's hands move without thinking about it. He closes his eyes, taking his cock in his hand, his abdominal muscles clenching as pleasure lances through him.

"You look beautiful," Kujou whispers, voice floating in the dark, in the hidden space where Tenn can let himself feel pleasure, can reward himself for the eternity he's spent denying himself, pleasing others. "Yes, like that." Excitement slides through Kujou's voice as Tenn turns his wrist, shuddering into his own palm. The slap of skin is unearthly loud in the room, in a space where anyone could walk in on him. Someone could burst in at any moment and see Tenn for what he really is — a helpless, pathetic thing of want and need, undone within the first ten minutes of returning home. A whining, desperate dog that rutted against his master's leg the second he showed him even the slightest affection. A stupid mess of holes waiting to be filled the moment Kujou threatened him with an unkind word, with abandonment. The heavy scent of sex in the air and Nanase Riku's name on both their tongues. Riku could be here; his brother could enter this room and see Tenn completely undone, arching into his own hand as he holds his breath and teeters at the edge of satisfaction. 

Riku, Riku, Riku.

"Tenn-kun," Kujou whispers, a hand lazily wrapped around Tenn's trembling thigh. Tenn jolts with it, that stupidly happy feeling when it's his name his guardian remembered to say this time. 

He comes apart, mouth closed tight, eyes closed tighter, curling in on himself. Kujou holds him through it, shushing him gently even when Tenn knows he's silent. He wouldn't dare make a noise. He couldn't let any words to slip past his lips, unsure what treacherous things they might say. Riku isn't here; he'll never be here. It's himself and his mentor, the reason he's everything he is and everything in Kujou-san's entire world. The two of them, a shuddering, sex-covered mess of dreams and desires, of humiliation and deceit. The plan Trigger had concocted to keep Tenn safe seems miles away, planets and lifetimes apart from this moment.

Tenn weakly wipes his hand clean on his own leg and opens his eyes; even the dim lighting over the apartment seems too bright. 

Kujou-san smiles back at him, sweat beading on his brow. Tenn ducks forward and kisses him there, a spot where Tenn and all his wretched desires belong.

**Author's Note:**

> mwahhh!! a gross love letter to my buddy in ainana filth. I hope i didn't torture tenn too much! 
> 
> follow me on twitter @ mobchuu!


End file.
